Cerebral Scribbles

EVIL TOYS/BABIES R US. STAY AWAY!

2011-12-30T06:36:00.001-08:00

Bad experience - horrible store - i threw my rewards card away but still have some coming. here they are to those who can use 'em.

Your Rewards Are Here

1 message

Rewards"R"Us
<rewardsrus@em.toysrus.com>

Thu, Dec 29, 2011 at 11:27 PM

ALLIE BURCH,
Membership Number: 2100157322203

Congratulations! Here are your rewards & exclusive deals!
The Rewards below reflect earnings on purchases made from 10/30/11 through 12/12/11. Rewards earned from 12/13/11 through 12/24/11 will be emailed on or about 1/13/12.

Valid in-store thru 01/13/12.
One-time use only.

In store only. Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only.
Membership number must be presented at time of purchase.
Excludes diapers, formula, video games, video game hardware,
video game accessories, Apple products, gift cards, photo studios,
Motherhood Maternity, Buyer Protection Plan, assembly fee,
breast-pump rental fee, delivery fee, and shipping & handling.
"R"Us Dollars Certificate(s) can be used toward the one-time
purchase of qualifying products at Toys"R"Us and Babies"R"Us.
Certificate must be surrendered at time of purchase and value
is forfeited if item is returned. Certificate prorated among eligible
items purchased.
Void where
prohibited. Valid
USA only.
Cash value 1/100
of 1¢.

01011247760949501306

Valid in-store 01/14/12 - 01/28/12.
One-time use only.

01010197211949502529

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. Must buy 2 for discount. In store only. Regular pricing applies if purchase requirement not met. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if items are returned. Void where prohibited. By MFR. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Includes mattresses, gliders, ottomans and Special Orders. Excludes Baby Caché and Unbeatable Price! items. Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Void where prohibited. By MFR. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Excludes clearance, Motherhood Maternity, Under Armour, Pediped and Robeez footwear. Clothing and shoes not available in all Toys"R"Us stores. Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us total transaction offer or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Coupon prorated among eligible items purchased. Void where prohibited. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us total transaction offer or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Coupon prorated among eligible items purchased. Void where prohibited. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Void where prohibited. By MFR. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Void where prohibited. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Void where prohibited. By MFR. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us total transaction offer or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Coupon prorated among eligible items purchased. Void where prohibited. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Void where prohibited. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

Valid on in-store purchase thru 1/28/12. One-time use only.

Offer valid for Rewards"R"Us members only. Membership number must be presented at time of purchase. In store only. One coupon per guest. Not valid with any other "R"Us offer for same item or on prior purchases. Coupon must be surrendered at time of purchase and value is forfeited if item is returned. Void where prohibited. Valid USA only. Cash value 1/100 of 1¢.

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2009-05-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, a new update? Easter 2009

2009-04-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

The mix of springtime holiday rituals and target marketing has me as confused as ever. There’s Groundhog’s Day with the Puxatony Phil and St. Patrick’s Day with the beer and cute little green guys, then there’s Easter which is a whole mess of entwined Christian and Pagan celebrations. Bunnies, Christ rising from the dead, colored eggs, etc. (Although strangely enough it’s only politicaly correct to celebrate the Pagen rituals)

It’s almost like, “Christ’s tomb sits at the very end of the rainbow next to a pot of gold and keg of dark beer, and if Jesus rises from the dead, exits the tomb, sees his shadow and lays a blue egg, then that means another six more weeks of winter.

There. That should have been an equal opportunity offending statement.

Actually, I’m pretty rooted in my religious beliefs. It’s not verbatim of what was taught in my Lutheran school, but I haven’t been stricken down yet. (knock knock) Anyway, the one thing that I do know is that this Easter I needed a break from being hunched over the entryway tiling project and an opportunity to ride some new trails presented itself, so of course I jumped at the opportunity.

Sunday morning I got my heathen ass up at 5:45, showered and met my buddy Jim, who was kind (or crazy) enough to join me at a sunrise service in Pawling at 6:30. Coffee at the diner to stay awake after, then on over to Brewster for some riding fun! John and Stephanie showed us around trails they had been maintaining over the years, and what a fun bunch of trails they were! Lot’s of ups, downs, arounds, overs, unders…I’m not sure how far we actually went, but it was well worth it, and the company was wonderful!

Sadly I have no photos. Bummer, maybe next time.

just for fun.

2008-06-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

What can "Brown" do for Me?

2008-01-29T14:52:00.000-08:00

EVERYTHING!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE UPS. They are the best couriers in the world!

I have an ill-behaved beagle. He's a smallish dog who thinks that anyone approaching our door is here to see him. He jumps and barks and, thankfully is over peeing excitedly on visitors shoes.
Our mailman is terrified of him. The man rings our doorbell, runs around the corner and shrieks (literally) when a flash of furry black, white and tan comes bolting out the door in a greeting chase. Upon questioning him about this "method of dog prevention and avoidance", he told me that it was USPS's policy. (just another reason of my long-time disdain for the postal service)

I've actually gotten a notice that if our "vicious dangerous" animal isn't properly contained, the mail service to our mailbox bank will cease.

Today the UPS lady came to the door, rang the doorbell and the dog went ape-shit. She calmly produced a dog cookie, made him sit and then handed it to him. He raced to a corner with his prize which gave me time to sign the sheet, take my package, and thank and wave to the UPS lady as she left, all without dear doggie making a break for the outside.

Can I by UPS stamps to send letters????

This is just too good...

2007-11-05T14:01:00.000-08:00

not to share:

the dumbest question to propose to a tech company

2007-10-16T11:13:00.001-07:00

The Demand: "What is Company X going to do to ensure that this problem never happens to us again?!"

The Answer: "Why, disconnect your service with Company X, of course."

The Reason: It's more than likely that no one knows, or will ever know what anomaly caused the problem. Besides, it's more cost effective to nix you, the client than to pursue the root cause with the effort of countless company resources.

Year 1

2007-10-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

Let's be honest, it's been one hell of a year. We made it through a wedding, a major relocation, deaths in the family, new jobs, new friends and new adventures, and we arrived at our first anniversary this past Sunday.

I had mentioned earlier in the week my intentions to take Friday off and head to Tahoe for some end-of-season downhilling, but it was brought to my attention the next morning that I was not to leave the immediate Novato area, nor make plans for the entire weekend. My queries went unanswered.

It started out innocently enough on Friday night where Mike appeared at the door with a beautiful mulit-colored boquet of roses and an invitation to sushi, afterwords we munched on our cake top that my mom had overnighted to our door. (much to our surprise) Saturday morning Mike made breakfast and we exchanged cards a day early. There was also a curious envelope marked #2 placed in front of me.

I opened #2. The instructions I read aloud were clear, "You have 30 minutes to pack the items in following list. Ask no questions, the clock starts NOW!" "BEEP" Mike set the timer and walked away. Oooohhh-kay! What the hell? The list went like this:

Toothbrush
Shorts
Hiking boots
Evening dress
2 large bananas
4 bike tires
2 cups of peaunuts
High heels
coffee
etc...

The list completed, Mike started shoveling bags, dog and wife inside the car and took off in a southerly direction, where we made a quick stop in the city to apparently drop off Webber. Doggie drop completed, we continued south on 101 with me guessing and Mike grinning but keeping tight lipped.

South of San Jose, we made a turn East and Mike finally admitted that yes, we were in fact going to Yosemite. Once we arrived, he pulled into a hotel just outside the park. Our room was right on (about 30' from) the rushing Merced River.

He turned and said to me, "I thought this would be a nice place to stay for a few days."

"Wow...um..yea that'd be great! I don't know about you, but I've got to work Monday. Does that mean I'll be coming back to pick you up?"

Mike grinned. "I've got it all taken care of."

He had arranged with both of our managers Monday and Tuesday off. I was stunned!

That afternoon we went into the park and did some small hikes.

Sunday, we did the Half Dome hike. A 17 mile round trip excursion which is climbing up stairs for 8.5 miles then hiking down them the remaining 8.5 with a cable climb on a 45 degree dome face thrown in the middle for fun.

We just got home yesterday so the photos will hopefully be up on our site soon. www.theburchs.us.

El Capitan

The rig we need

Bridalveil Falls

It's a long way Down!

Half Dome

I learned Something Today!

2007-10-04T15:56:00.000-07:00

If you're going to juggle eggs, take off any sturdy rings you might be wearing lest when catching, the eggs hit the metal and break the shell.

Medieval Lunch Time?

2007-08-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

"Renaissance Might Sell Minority Stake"

I thought to myself, "Finally, someone is thinking outside of the box! A mid-1500AD revival group fundraising with meat from Black, Hispanic, or Asian cows!"

Alas, I was wrong.

I just want to talk to someone at work...

2007-07-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

Who speaks our NATIVE FUCKING LANGUAGE!!!

*sigh*
"Somebody set up us the bomb! All your base are belong to us!

Today's the day

2007-05-12T18:32:00.001-07:00

Naughty little temptresses

2007-05-10T10:34:00.001-07:00

2007-05-10T10:23:00.001-07:00

2007-05-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

Major bummer :o(

2007-05-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

Queen mary II

2007-05-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

Fontana ‘07 (otherwise known as Fontucky, Beeatch)

2007-05-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

Fontana ‘07

There's so much to say, but I want to start this out on a positive note and say something nice about Fontana, the town in which the first NORBA national downhill is being held. I'm thinking...I'm thinking...I'm failing...

Fontana's low. I'm sorry. I thought Flint was low, but at least in Flint there's enough violence to keep out innocent bikers from coming into town for a race. Fontana, however is a good place to go if you're driving a semi truck, or a low rider, or are a meth-head, or are all three.

Thankfully our Velo Bella / Kona team is staying about 20 minutes away in Redlands which is a perfectly nice little community provided you don't get anywhere near I-10 unless it's between the hours of 2 and 4am. It's true. Five lanes and they're jammed. Even out here two hours from LA. Shoot me now.

This trip has been eventful and it's only half way through. I'll share some of the highlights thus far:

I was in such disbelief that it took me a while to understand what service they were really offering. Sometimes punctuation is key.

4 - Hours it takes the little Yorki to stop screaming (yes, screaming) once the bathroom door is closed.
3 - separate rush hour trappings on I-10 because I'm an idiot and forgot my shoes for downhill practice.

2 - the number of full downhill bikes a Honda Civic will reluctantly accommodate

1 - Number of times I saw a ghetto sled's hood fly up while it was swerving down the road.

So this guy walks into a bike shop...

2007-05-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Guess Who Got the new bike...

and guess who got the socks. :-(

Fontucky dually

2007-05-03T15:32:00.001-07:00

Mike would like a Dually some day, but somehow I don't think this is exactly what he had in mind...unless we moved to Fontana.

With every new low-rider kit comes a week's supply of Cañón del Cobre premium malt liquor...cuz that's how they roll down in the 909!

Random thoughts:

2007-04-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

- I love Love LOVE our paper shredder.
- Since our beagle Webber has visited and been left alone in a number of friend’s homes, I feel confident in my ability to repair screen doors and windows quickly.
- My husband rocks!
- That smell in the fridge, I think is either bad meat or really good cheese.
- We’re out of chicken…fish…milk…blah…ehm..gah…snarg…
- I hope the racecourse this weekend doesn’t try to kill me like it did the last time I raced it.
- I should probably find some tires to use and change my wheels that I’ve been whining about.
- I should probably quit whining.
- Just what the hell is a cubit?

- Apparently work is mandating “sexual harassment training". Shit, I already know how to sexually harass. I practically wrote the curriculum! HEY YOU, yeah you! - nice ass! (_!_)

It was so windy today

2007-04-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

That the goldfish sitting on the snack table tried to catch a gust and make a break for the pond.

I lost the toothpaste

2007-04-12T00:02:00.001-07:00

So my friend was kind enough to let me use his. Unfortunently I dropped it and lost it again. It's somewhere in the carpet.

All I wanted was a kick start...

2007-03-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

so I didn’t get a cookie with my coffee this morning as I drove into the office.
As I sat working and sipping coffee, I kept thinking of how good a cookie would be so I made the pilgrimage to the building with the café that sells the yummy cookies.I journey back to my desk, sit down with my cookie and discover I’m nearly out of coffee and what’s left is stone cold. L Oh well.

2007-02-27T18:37:00.000-08:00

2007-02-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

You know it a rough day when, at 10:30 AM you look over at the whiteboard and sniffing the markers seems like a seriously good idea.

Taking out the Trash

2007-02-08T17:34:00.000-08:00

ahhhhhh. :-)

Guilty Pleasure

2007-01-31T10:35:00.000-08:00

I really love chasing the dog with the vacuum.

This is like one of those things that should be on postsecret.

Wordsmith

2007-01-30T10:16:00.000-08:00

I hate the fact "wellness" is a word. I don't know how long it's been a word, but since it's been adopted as a staple of "corporatease" it's become a buzzword to envoke "sense of" calm (of course "calming sensation" would be to direct) whenever some bill of goods is to be sold. Sort of a vernacular valium.

If "wellness" get's to be a word, then so does "wussification".

wus·si·fi·ca·tion Pronunciation [wuss-uh-fi-key-shuh n]

–noun

1. The act of wussifying.

2. The result of being a wussy.

ie. The use of crappy benign words such as "wellness" are leading to the wussification of America as a whole.

Thanks for reading. Now, go check out the Unger Report.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Heim (and other smartypants..es)

2007-01-29T17:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was pretty cool. I got to take some downhill runs at Montara Mountain with an old friend who I haven't seen in quite a while.

The thing about downhilling in Pacifica is that anything one gets to whoop and holler down, one must first trudge up. Since we started at almost exactly sea level there was plenty of time for chit-chat during the 1600' ascent on 40 lb. downhill rigs. Yeah buddy, that's right - run whatcha brung. There are no shuttles here.

Anyway, a former employee of SRI, co-founder of http://artificialmuscle.com/ inventor and mad-scientist extraordinaire, he gets all excited talking about his latest inventions and ideas, which are to say the least way cool, way exciting and waaaaayyyy over my head. There was one point in the conversation where he turned and beamed, "Last week we invented the artificial (blah blah blah don’t know how much I can say here) but the bio-mechanics work just like human/animal (parts) reacting to electrical impulses. "Wow. That's amazing!" I reply. "Last week I made bread."

I guess I'm just super stoked on the fact I feel I'm so lucky to know so many really amazing people on the cutting edge of technology, design, finance - hell, you name it. I really enjoy hearing everyone talk about what they're creating and how excited they get when it's "theirs".

So, I guess for now a few shameless plugs to some cycling smarytukuses who are putting together some great products.

Self-contained lighting - http://brlights.com/

Kickass Chain-guides and such - http://www.montaramtb.com/

So, to all of my reader, I implore you: Buy from these people. They're good, they're bikers, support head-trauma-induced creativity!!!!

The Health Insurance Farce

2007-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

It's been over three hours that I've been on the phone trying to track down an agreeable combination of friendly health care professional and insurance company for this hellatious case of poison oak I contracted while relieving myself in the woods. (I'll leave it up to your own imagination as to what itches)
Blue Cross/Blue Shield are now separate entities, neither can find me as a subscriber and now the doctor's office completes this little triangle by asking me what the insurance company's contact information is. Why the hell would I know the number the doctor is supposed to call??
This whole game is tiring. Am I covered or not? Will I get in so I can ask for the drugs I want, do the obligitory rigamarole and drop trou for 2 seconds while some quack in a white coat scribbles out what I originally asked for in the first place? Jeeeeeesh! It would be faster for me to drive to Mexico to get the goods!!! I'm sooooo pissed right now....and itchy. :-(

Tag?

2007-01-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

It appears I've been tagged by Nicknameless herself.

Let's see....

I was born at a very young age. Sadly, I don't recall the event, although I'm reminded of the 30 hours of labor every year.

The last doll given to me in my childhood was a long lanky lass named LuLu. I promptly smashed her face in. My parents gave me only stuffed animals after that. Favorites were Kermit and Donkie Hodie. (whom I still have)

I was never one of the "cool kids". I was the only person in my entire high school graduating class in the school band. I played saxaphone which I thought might give me some 'cool points', but no, they didn't.

I nearly flunked my high school computer class. (Dear Mr. Computer Teacher guy. I'm not stupid, I just didn't give a rat's ass about anything on an Apple 2E) Funny how I now work on the databases that retain school employees payroll information.

Yes, I took college level ski classes so that I could come home and save face by saying, "yeah, I'm a student in Utah."

I had R2D2 Underoos....and Wonder Woman...

Tonight I turned our kitchen into an alcove of alchemy. I made mozzarella cheese from scratch. Now Mike has a stomach ache and I should really go use the potty. Lesson learned? you betcha. There are cheesemakers by trade in the area. Buy cheese from them.

The Long Flight Home

2006-12-02T10:30:00.000-08:00

When flying it’s always fun to have a pre-flight beer then browse through the in-flight magazine selection. Today especially. I need to keep my mind off of the purpose of this trip. I’m feeling anxious and giddy, but not in all the good ways. Right now my silliness is fuelled by a 10am beer and inspired by the in-flight “Sky Mall” catalogue.

Items of particular interest:

Fish Finder Watch. Only if you’re one day greeted by Knuckles and Guido or sing like a canary to the wrong person will you need one of these. The rest of us will use the one on the boat.

The four-motor remote control UFO: …It’s now within our grasp and available for purchase. I think we now know what the hell it is and have finally solved the mystery of the “U”…that is with the exception of those in Roswell. We’ll keep our little secret discovery from them.

Huge Inflatable Christmas Lawn Ornaments. Ah yes. Deck the halls..and the yard, and the front entrance with plastic inflatable candy canes, snowmen, elves and other tawdry crap. It all started with those orange jack-o-lantern lawn bags for the lazy and pumpkin-carving inept. But what do we do when all of the leaves have fallen and we’re too comfortable in our homes watching survivor and playing X-Box games to be bothered with actually making a snowman? That’s right! Balloons! Everyone looooves balloons, and balloons with lights in them are even better! Well, with the holiday balloon fad, a holiday phenomenon of balloon deflating (puncturing, if you will) should probably follow. What? What’s that you say? Before you tsk-tsk me how many pumpkin-smashing excursions did you embark on as a teen…or adult? Hmm?? I’ll have you know that I have NEVER because when it happened to my pumpkins as a kid I bawled my little head off wondering who could ever do such a mean thing to something I carved all by my little six-year-old self! C’mon, if an inflatable lawn ornament is found dead on the front lawn what are you gonna do, I mean really? Probably unplug it, pitch it and run right down to the Super Wal-Mart to get a replacement and a motion sensor light.
Ok, ok, ok. So I don’t appreciate these things, but I remember one in particular that I did have a fondness for. It was a Halloween inflatable with three ghosts in a black cauldron. It was a little low on air and a stiff breeze was blowing that night which made the ghosts move in a way they were probably not intended. It looked like one of the ghosts was plugging the other ghost from behind. Priceless.

Ug. I think the person in front of me just let one fly. Peee—yeeww!

Here’s a good one:
Basho the Sumo Wrestler sculpture and glass-topped table. The last thing I want to be eating my cocktail weenies off of is a replica of a 500lb diaper-wearing Asian man with his big flabby rear in the air! This dude would be an excellent candidate for “The Bro”. His four-point stance is nearly a 6-point. (if ya know what I mean)

Collect your favorite limited edition president or historical talking figurine. Wow, Hilary Clinton, George Washington, Princess Dianna, Albert Einstein, Jackie Kennedy…I wonder what they say, and which one do you choose first??! I can’t imagine the fun that could be had with the whole collection! Now the corruption, indecency and scandals can span the decades! This subject is too wide open, even for a blog. I guess I’ll just ask are these REALLY worth the ink used to print the ad???

My buzz must be wearing off ‘cause this one actually looks handy.
From paper to e-mail in seconds – translate your writing into text:
Looks like you can write on this notepad dealio which does an OCR capture and translates it to a data file. Coolio!

I can’t believe people are making money on this stuff!

Whoa, forget the chemistry sets, today’s kids get “The CSI Young Investigator’s Forensic/DNA Kits”
Kit comes with a centrifuge, electrophoreses chamber (huh?), beakers, chromatography ring, (is this like the decoder ring we used to get in Captn’ Crunch?) lab glasses and more equipment to examine DNA!!!
It’s like an at-home paternity test.

The Marshmallow Shooter.
I cannot imagine the fun to be had with this. I’ll bet it’s more fun than hucking those little white puffs into a ceiling fan and watching them sail across the room!
Imagine with me if you will: Campfire, beer, can of gasoline, loaded marshmallow shooter. Sounds like a recipe for a good time!

“Pets like to snuggle-up when they sleep, especially on our Snuggle Balls.” (I’m just quoting the add) I’ll agree to that first statement, however in our household if there’s any ball-snuggling to be done the pet is not involved.
Oh, the product Fleecilis Snuggulus Ballivore is more widely known by it’s common name: “Fleece Covered Beanbag”

“Be on time in any time zone in the world” HAHAHAHAHAA! A dynamically zone adjusting travel clock does not a punctual person make.

The Snow Flurry Projector. Please refer to the “inflatable lawn ornament” paragraph. Applications for this product: neighbor pisser-offer, paranoid-schizophrenic freaker-outer, exterior house cleaner (get the kids to “catch” the snowflakes on their tongue, voila! After enough of that you’re aluminum siding will be spit-shine sparkly)
Caveat of product: What happens if you unwittingly attract an “after-hours” party or a rave. Pest control normally doesn’t handle this kind of thing and you’ve got yourself a real problem. (or good time)

The “Thomas Kinkade The Night Before Christmas Talking House” Now this just freaks me out. I’m assuming they mean the “Amityville Night Before Christmas Talking House” I hope the exorcist isn’t on backorder or “sold separately”!

MAILBAG!!!

2006-11-29T18:28:00.001-08:00

Oooh, and today we’ve got a doozie!

Looks like someone doesn’t like what they purchased on Craigslist. Boo hoo hoo! Let’s read on, shall we?

Hey Allie,

Had a better chance to look at the Yukon (out of the rain and the cold) and found that the fork is bent and peddle cassette is missing teeth. The bike was ridden a lot harder then represented! (+ other problems) I know a deal is a deal but, I thought I would let you both know that I would have passed if conditions on the viewing had been better....
If given the chance for refund and return, I would accept....If not, Karma works well!

Cxxxx (555) 555-1212

Gentle reader; please allow me to dissect this with a bit of explanation. First, I would never purposely mis-represent such an item. If I were going to do that I never would have agreed to compromise $100 on the price! (My desired responses are in parentheses)

Hey Allie, (Yep, that's me)

Had a better chance to look at the Yukon (out of the rain and the cold)

(It was raining and damned cold. You took it for a spin in the rain never once stopping under a store awning in the strip mall we met at to look the item over.)

and found that the fork is bent and peddle cassette is missing teeth.

(Not bloody likely. This bike was a rail-trail special that saw dirt once or twice but whimpered so badly that it was relegated back to the road. If a tooth was in fact missing on the chain ring, I'm positive the plastic chain-ring-guide would have suffered some type of damage, say...smashed into a thousand pieces. If a hunk is torn off of a metal ring, I'm sure the plastic parts wouldn't hold up either.)

The bike was ridden a lot harder then represented! (+ other problems)

( HORSEFEATHERS!!! Unless, on it's trip across the country in the moving van Sven and his circus bear snuck in one night and practiced their new act on this bike)

I know a deal is a deal but, I thought I would let you both know that I would have passed if conditions on the viewing had been better....

(Sorry bro, it had been raining ALL DAY. You drove 30 MILES IN THE RAIN to check out a $250 bike! AN ENTIRE BIKE FOR $250!

At that price it's NOT gonna say ORBEA down the side! You had my number and could have used it to say something like "hey, it's raining and I’m a dainty little flower and might melt. Let's reschedule." See, it's a weird thing, but when you get a deal off of craigslist the seller doesn't have control over the weather. That's what STORES are for. They have these cool things called ROOVES that keep the rain outside when you're inside deliberating over a product.)

If given the chance for refund and return, I would accept....If not, Karma works well!

(Well, well, well...what have we here? A threat for the Karma Payment Plan??? I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER!!!

Dear Unhappy Buyer,

I am truly sorry that you feel your purchasing experience was negative. At this time I am unable to issue a refund and take the bike back, however you'll be happy to know that as I was conjuring up this rotten little bargain and waiting to spring the full wrath of my unscrupulous dealings upon you, my car died late Thanksgiving night, after dining and drinks, 2 hours away from home with an irritated husband and a puking dog. We never made it home, and while we were foraging for newspapers to keep ourselves warm, John Denver, flying his experimental aircraft with passengers Elvis and Marylyn Monroe crashed into us leaving the dog only 1 leg and me paralyzed with the exception of my right pinky toe and ability to wiggle my ears. It was amazing yet tragic and I'm sure you can appreciate the difficulty of typing up this reply. I do hope that this makes you feel better about your purchase.)

Sincerely,

Ethyyl

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

We didn't really have any plans for thanksgiving this year, so when our friends from San Jose invited us to dinner we accepted with pleasure. We had a plan. Leave Wednesday night, stay with Jen, ride Thursday morning in Demo and make it in time for dinner at True and Kathy's.

Wednesday night we packed the car with all of the Thanksgiving necessities, clothes, dog, bikes, etc. and rolled out to Jen's on the Santa Cruz side. Jen was making one of her famous curry dishes, which are never to be missed.
We retired to the living room where Mike quickly found the place he'd be camped in for the next hour. An iJoy 550 Robotic Massage Chair waited for him with open arms and he gladly accepted the offer.

Thursday morning we tootled around the house getting ready a little too long, screamed out of the house and up, up, up the twisted mountain road to the trailhead just in time to see Jim and Joe heading out. (we were 20 minutes late) Thankfully we caught them and finally got to ride in the Demo Forest where the dirt was nice and tacky from the rain, but the leaf covered decent proved to be somewhat treacherous.

After cleaning up we finally made it to True and Kathy's in San Jose where they had cooked up a fabulous spread. True smoked the turkey earlier in the day, and Kathy, between works of wizardry and artistry had whipped up all of the fixin's sans recipe! (I'm still full this morning!)

The night grew late and we started making motions towards the door when Webber (our beagle) sauntered up to the group, sat under the table and spewed forth his entire dinner onto the rug. Thus begins our adventure.

As we make our way to the car, the dog leaves behind the contents of his stomach in twenty-foot increments along the sidewalk. When it appears he has nothing left to throw up we get into the Aztek and start our nearly two-hour drive north back home.

Things were fine for the first ten minutes, but then the Aztek had decided she had had enough. On went the warning light and through the roof went the temperature gage. I pulled the car over the shoulder, searched the car for extra water and dumped what was left of a water bottle into the coolant reservoir. Now, this isn't really new. The car has been in the shop for the same thing and was repaired...somewhat. Ok, I opted for the band-aid fix when I should have had the triple bypass, but sometimes band-aids work and the problem just kinda fixes itself, right? Not this time, on Thanksgiving, at 10:30 pm, with a sick dog and irritated husband. damn.

So here we are, stuck on the side of the road, hazard lights on, hood up, dog puking in the back of the car, and the two of us haggardly looking at each other undoubtedly having completely different thoughts about our situation. Mike said he liked adventure. I guess this isn't quite what he had in mind.

AAA sent a tow truck; True and Greg met us at the dealer and let us take his car home. While we were transferring everything from the 'Tek to True's car, True noted that when he went into the backyard to clean up the items from smoking the turkey, he noticed that some of the woodchips had been chewed. Of course, wood is Webber's favorite thing to chew on. Now, the cherry woodchips that were used had been soaked and saturated with rather strong bourbon. Turns out, our dog was drunk!

We finally were on our way home, which we thankfully reached without further incident. This was our first Thanksgiving and major holiday as a married couple. I can't help but wonder what we're being prepared for.

2006-11-14T07:45:00.000-08:00

A Great Big "EF U" to you, Hugh.
(and your little subscribers too)

PANTS!!!! ???

2006-11-02T19:01:00.000-08:00

To whoever asked, “Whatever happened to the 80’s?” I have good news. They are alive and well and in our apartment.

Yesterday all of our belongings were shipped to our new place and we began the daunting task of tearing into boxes and finding homes for the contents.
Tonight we reached the wardrobes. Tucked within the depths of “his mine and ours” was pay dirt for anyone nostalgic of long ratted hair and screaming guitar solos.

More on how we’re doing later, but for now I shall bid you adieu with this little gem:

Movin' on Up...

2006-10-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

and out.

Today was the start of four big, fast days. The guys came to pick up half of our furniture including my desk, so I've been relocated to the dining room table. Our place is is empyting out.

I can hear the hollow echo of the keys through the room as I type and I can't help but look around and remember how I felt when I first moved in here. I know that for both of us the day's of "mine" are giving way to "ours", but this was my place and there's a small sense of sadness that comes with seeing it emptied.

A home purches was one of the last things on my 'must do alone' list. It might be hard to understand why this is such a huge deal, why I would allow no one to ever get close enough to truly consider a permanent fixture in my life until I purchased a place of my own, but a few of us this type need to prove to ourselves that we can do it on our own and we will never ever ever be totally dependant upon someone else to provide for us. We'll scrape and save and work, but once we've done it, that accomplishment is in our heads and the pride and confidence is engrained.

So, here I am sitting remembering how excited and terrified I was thinking of the possibilities and the responsibility. This has been a home of "firsts". My first home purchase, first dog, first man I could truly open up to and see a future with...I'm kind of getting that feeling of moving out of the house for the first time. Seeing all of the things you thought were important put in boxes that I know I'll probably seldom, if ever open. I'm closing the book at the end of the 'me' chapter and knowing that in a day I'll open it back up and see what happens to us, as characters in the pages yet to come.

I am proud of this place. No matter what happens with the appraisals, the move and whatever is ahead in CA, I did it once, I proved it to myself and will hopefully never have to do it again. I've got a hell of a partner now and I'm anxious to take what I've learned to do and team with him for a place of "ours".

A week later...

2006-10-14T19:50:00.000-07:00

Well, It's been an entire week...kind of. Mike's been out of town and I'm soon to join him. I'm up at my parents this weekend getting the last of the post-wedding mayhem details wrapped up before our final move to CA.

I couldn't help it. I had to look one more time. There it was hanging, still bustled from our wedding night and wrapped a puffy pink bag. My wedding dress. My pretty dress with the beaded bodice still sparkling, reminds me of Mike's eyes when I looked into them during my walk down the aisle. He told me I was a beautiful bride. No matter how much I try to tell him, I don't think he'll ever really know how good that makes me feel and exactly how much that means. I wanted to be his beautiful bride.

So, now here I sit in my childhood room all misty-eyed knowing that day in our lives is now a beautiful memory and onward we trod. This will probably be the last time I see the dress completely intact. It's fate lies at the hands of a talented seamstress who will make the train into a christening gown for any children we might have in the future. Still, talented or not there will still be scissors taken to it. Maybe I'm just not ready to admit that the party's over.

I miss my husband. We've been apart longer but I think right now I just need one more dance.

The Single Best Day of My Life

2006-10-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

It happened. It actually happened! Saturday, October 7th was by far the best day of my life.

I married my best friend.

I'm replaying the events in my mind. The gifts have been opened, the decorations are put away and Mike has left for San Fran. I can take a moment by myself to reflect on the events of the weekend.

After a trying week Saturday came. Jeni and I met Lorna at the downtown salon where we got our hair and makeup done. We were greeted with mimosas and fresh fruit. My excitement mounted when Mike called later that morning sounding happy...until he wholloped his noggin on something while we were on the phone. I was so pleased with how everything came out when we left the salon; I was feeling really good about the day.

With hair and makeup done and veil in place, we arrived home famished (after nearly 3 hours in a salon a girl gets hungry!) where, as Rau tradition, my dad and I wolfed down sandwiches over the sink.

Katy arrived and helped Jen and I load the car with the bags and dresses. We were all set to go when I looked over at my bike sadly hanging by its rear wheel from the ceiling. It was too much for me to bear. "I'm riding my bike to the church!" Dad's look pleaded "oh no. Not now. Not this time” but Jen being the friend she is quickly interjected with "Sweet! I'll meet you there!"

I jumped on the bike and with my pant legs rolled up and veil blowing behind; flip-flop clad feet pedaled Allie Rau away from the house for the last time.

We dressed, Kate and Jen cried, my heart raced, I tried to tell jokes to keep them from making me cry. I was just remembering the punchline to the one about the duck and the proctologist as I heard the music start.

The harpsichord sounded beautiful, and it paired so well with the girls walking down the aisle. From my limited view I could see the flower girls quickly catching up to the last bridesmaid right before Mike ushered his niece to her parents.

The Organ boomed, a camera light flashed, Dad grabbed my arm and smiling said, "let's go!" Away we went. This was it!! God it was beautiful! So many people, walking to the candelabra in the middle of the church, the flowers, the smiles, I tried to take as much as I could in but the only thing I really truly saw was Mike. I saw Mike and his smile. His eyes danced, his confidence in what we were both there to do emanated from him. There was no doubt in my mind that this was exactly the right thing that we were to do at exactly this time. My God he's amazing! My God he looked GREAT in that tux!!!

We said our vows to each other; we were pronounced husband and wife. We are to be forever known as Mr. and Mrs. Michael Burch. I couldn't have been prouder as we marched down the aisle to Handle's A La Hornpipe followed by the rest of the wedding party. Mike and I then turned back and excused each guest by row, which I am so glad we did. Since the night goes so fast, it was a very nice way for us to meet each other's extended friends and family.

When all of the guests had been excused, given UM/State flags (due to the "big game" that was on) and were outside of the church, Mike and I paraded out the doors, and down the steps to the other lady in his life, his white '89 Iroc convertible. I piled in and heaped my dress in the empty spaces around me while Mike shut the door. He started her up and we took off down Tuscola Rd. on the single most beautifully warm clear Michigan fall day. Veil blowing in the wind, engine humming and Mike and I simply glowing at each other, there was no one else in the world at that point. We had done it. We were together, and it was better than either of us could have ever dreamed.

Pictures, filming, gathering and bustling took awhile, but we then loaded on the trolley and headed to the Lutheran Home to see Grandpa Dolfi and my friend Greg's Grandpa Ruppel who both live there. The wedding had been broadcasted on the church's cable channel so they could watch it live since neither could attend.

Looping through town a couple of times we finally ended up at the Bavarian Inn Motor Lodge for our reception.

Mike and I had photos taken at the riverbank, and Jen and I quickly donned cycling shoes for some sillier shots.

We went inside and quickly took inventory of what was required for the night. DRAT! It seems as if the ONLY COPY of the song we practiced dancing to was 30 minutes away! We roped a volunteer and off he went. (yeah, we owe him bigtime!)

The DJ announced the wedding party as they entered. I peered into the room just as Mr. and Mrs. Michael Burch were exuberantly introduced. The lights were dimmed, people were standing, and candlelight was dancing off of the tall centerpieces where from the top, burgundy and red flower arrangements exploded like fireworks.

Mike and I triumphantly strode into the room and to our sweetheart table as Van Halen's "Love Comes Walking In" filled the room. Mike then pulled one of the ultimate surprises with the video he had prepared. He had done a mockup of VH1's "Behind the Music" called "Allie and Mike: Behind the Hookup" with my brother-in-law reading the copy, his cameraman from work shooting and editing the video, my family being full-on interviewed, and Mike doing some on-camera narrations of his own. It showed the both of us growing up, some key events in our lives and a lot of the wonderful things we've done since we've been together. I was fine up until this point. The tears came, and they came fast.

Katy, Brian and my dad had extremely thoughtful, funny and truthful toasts. Brian's actually made me sweat a little when he mentioned the infamous "2nd Date", but then pulled it back with a fine diversion to what Mike and I really went there to do that night at the climbing gym.

Dinner was simply delicious, well organized, and quickly served. We had four stations, and when Mike and I got up to eat, it was the queue for everyone else to do the same. It worked out SO well because the lines weren't long and no one had to wait for every other table to be excused. Everyone had plenty to eat and plenty to drink.

Thankfully our CD arrived and Mike and I waltzed to Otis Redding's "That's How Much I Love You". I think we did a marvelous job! (Mike and I had been taking lessons which were very fun and I think paid off extremely well)

My dad and I then danced a well-traveled Foxtrot to Frank Sinatra's "You Make Me Feel so Young". We covered most of the dance floor with that one. ;o)

While Mike and his mother danced to their song I quickly ran to grab the garter and a little surprise of my own.

The DJ announced the bouquet and garter toss. The girls lined up, I wound up and let go my best backwards curve ball. Field reporters later told me that the gal who caught it had no doubt that it was hers from the get go. I just hope the trampled 5 year olds won't take it too hard. ;-) (Hey, I've been there too)

It was now time for Mike to "do the deed". He put on a great show by slowly dancing around my chair finally kneeling down in front of me and reaching into the bottom layers of my dress. He fluffed around a bit grinning while he pretended to wrestle with yards upon yards of crinoline, but the real surprise was when he grabbed a hold of my calf and ankle with both hands. His smile immediately gave way to a perplexed mouth and furrowed eyebrows until he realized what he was holding. My garter was holding up hockey socks! God, the look on his face was priceless!!! He made quick work of the sock and the garter though. ;-)

The last staged event of the night was the "sie leben hoch", a little German/Frankenmuth wedding tradition. We were hoisted up in the air on lawn chairs by the groomsmen and ushers (who shook the holy hell out of us) while the rest of our guests shouted the lyrics.
(a concern of a groomsmen was later noted; "Um, a lot of those people don't seem to need the lyrics sheet")
My Grandma Rau, the oldest living member of the Rau Clan at 96 was brought over to complete my transformation from a "bride" to a "wife". She took my veil and placed a baby bonnet type thing on my head, from which was attached a ribbon that was directly attached via pacifier to a nightcap placed on Mike's head. Yeah, admittedly we looked pretty damned silly. Well, up we went as the fella's hoisted us one more time, but then started moving to the bar. We were set down, beer was poured and the song changed its tune.

"Here's to [brother mike/ sister allie], sister allie, sister allie.
Here's to sister allie who's with us tonight.
She’s…

At this point the lyrics were significantly different to those we had sung in Austria with Mike's hockey buddies.

We obligatorily chugged our Blue Moon beer and both of us about barfed, so we quickly went on to more dancing and mingling.

The night did go quickly, but not as quickly as everyone said that it would. I thought that it was just right. I found myself outside in the lobby quite a bit talking to our guests and thanking them for coming, but I guess it hit me when I saw floral arrangements being carried out and making their way out the doors.
“Is the party over???? Awwweee”

We were ready for bed. We gathered our things and started off down the hall where our bridal suite awaited. We arrived at the door, Mike opened it, carried me over the threshold and we were directly accosted by a one thousand degree wave of heat. We had been hit. On top of the heat wave that greeted us, a trial-size packet of Asroglide peeked out from the pages of a bible that was propped up in the middle of our bed.

Upon further investigation we found:
The mattress and box springs flipped
A clock under the bed (silly me, I thought that might have been from a prior guest but thankfully took it out)
Light bulbs unscrewed in the bathroom
ALL of the TP and tissues gone
The water turned off to the toilet (discovered after a nearly disastrous flush)
Random sample packets of “personal lube”, stay-erect, and “sweetened blow” all over the place
One bottle of raspberry vodka (a story which I will never ever tell)

We were pleased with our findings and decided that not much else could have been done so it was time for bed. Both of us were on the cusp of REM sleep when it happened.

A succession of angry beeps demanded that we rise and find the offending devise…, which appeared to be coming from the TV stand/dresser. Half asleep we tore it apart when I heard Mike sleepily grumble …bnddddafffgggggngTV. I yanked the monstrosity of a television aside while Mike fished. He extruded a small black object, which appeared to have numbers on it in a circular pattern. He chucked that little beeping bastard across the room, all was quiet and we went back to sleep. We later found more of these little “sound bombs” as they went off in 45-minute increments from under the sofa and other various locations. Couple that with the regular alarm clock being set and a thoughtful 5:30am wakeup call, our night was longer than expected.

Sunday was spent with close friends and family opening some gifts and chatting. Monday was racing to the airport, running errands and packing for California.

Between the events of Monday, and during the waning light of the last warm fall day, my husband took me for a motorcycle ride. This is the first time I had ever ridden with him. We rode down a winding rural road draped in a canopy of colorful hardwoods smelling the crisp autumn air and the cider and fresh doughnuts of the local cider mill we passed. We rode home, Mike’s wife made pork chops and for the first time dinner was served at the Burch household.

Mike and I had such an incredible time. We had friends come in from all over the country, and for that we are extremely thankful. We both talked about how lucky we are to have all of these wonderful people in our lives, and that’s really what made our wedding so special. Flowers are pretty, but temporary, music is gone as quickly as it came, the ceremony is finite. Our vows, our family and our friends are those things that carry us through the days and years. That’s what is truly important, and that’s why it meant so much to us that everyone who could come, did.

Oh, oh. oh the Shame

2006-07-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

So I was walking along one day minding my own business and there was this black hole that sucked me in, and that's where I've been. Floundering around in nothingness and certainly not updating my blog. Actually, it's been a crazy summer. Wedding, biking, hockey, more wedding...gosh..is someone getting married?
Anyway, this weekend a buddy and I went riding at Boyne Highlands. We had heard about some new trails there, but honestly I didnt expect what we found.

We bombed along through the twists and turns, rode onto ladders and skinnies, hopped kickers while our cross-country singlespeed frames rattled in protest.

The last run we ran into a group of riders, one of whom was a gal who looked so familiar...but I just coulnt place it. We followed the group of guys down and at the bottom of the hill started talking to the one who was waiting for his girlfriend.

"So you're from downstate?" I ask. "Yeah, Warren." I cock my head - damn, he's starting to look familiar too...Oh My God. "Waitaminute! You play hockey! With the Detroit Blazers!! You play with Mike Burch!!!" What a wierd wierd coincidental meeting. I'm now fairly embarrassed because months ago I promised to have the Toronto hockey photos posted, and as of yet...there are none.

Oh, the shame. I'm on the Karma Payment Plan, that and even though Mike was out of town that weekend...
Sometimes I swear - he's got spies everywhere!

I'm being a good girl.

2006-06-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

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2006-06-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

It is with great regret and heavy heart to say that our household has become smaller. Cooper was hit by a car Friday night.
He was a great friend, companion, and trail buddy who loved other dogs and people. He ran and played in the bark park almost every day and led mountain bike rides through the local trails. He had a short but full puppy life.
He was my friend who I'll dearly miss. It is my hope that one day I'll become the person he thought I was.

Chainsuck on a singlespeed???

2006-05-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday was amazing. Cooper and I loaded into the car and went to race the 6 hours of Addison Oaks mountain bike event solo singlespeed. I would have been better served in an ark. Some friends and I had ridden the course on Thursday, and while still a bit soft in spots, it looked like it'd be a good ol' time on Saturday. Not so much. It rained Thursday night, Friday, Friday night and Saturday morning. Had the rain kept up all through the day on Saturday it wouldn't have been that bad, but then the rain stopped and the runny mud caked up to a peanut buttery consistency that very well could have been a material ancient civilizations used to build fortified cities with back in the day.
After the 1st lap I had to change my rear tire. The semi-slick wasn't cutting it.
I went back out and at mile 2.5 my chain tentioner broke causing the chain to miss the chainring teeth and just spin. In layman's terms: I couldn't pedal the bike anywhere.
I met the ever-present and ever-helpful "Don the medic" who was lurking in the woods. He bandaged my dangling tentioner with layers upon layers of tape and at least got me out of the woods. I got back for another lap, but not before reinforcing the tape job with zip ties. It did the trick but by that time 30lbs of mud was clinging stubbornly to my frame. Not fun. I finished the lap packed it in and will be forced to avenge the course next year.

This photo was taken by one of the fabulous racers at the event last year. It reminds me of better times.

The voices have been quiet lately.

2006-05-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

I suppose alot has happened since my last post.
I could tell you about the lovely engagement party my parents gave for Mike and me, the silly things Cooper has done or about the funny thing that happened on the way home from the proctologist's office, but according to impatient comments and requests for different subject matter I shall not. Instead shall be a random subject chosen by the "Wheel of Chance!"

Let's spin the big wheel and see what we land on today kiddies!

ZIP! clickety, clickety clickety clickety click...click.......click............click....

Ohhhhhkay! "Things I have consumed in the last 24 hours" this could be rough.

Studio audience: "OOOoooooooooohhhhhh"

Let's begin, shall we?

Sunday May 7th 2006:
1:20pm: asian noodles, shrimp, peanuts, carrots, curry powder, curry paste, olive oil and carrots
2:00pm: snack crackers
3:00 pm: coffee and a chocolate square
4:00 pm: something i could not identify, but could have been either a meat or a...oh God...
8:00 pm: steak, au gratin potatoes and a beer
11:40 pm: Tom Yum soup
12:00-12:20 am: 3 spring rolls with peanut sauce, alfalfa sprouts, tomatoes and spinach

Monday May 8th 2006

8am: bowl of cereal and milk
9:30am: coffee
12:00pm: 2 cups of cottage cheese
1:15pm: 3 spring rolls with peanut sauce, alfalfa sprouts, tomatoes and spinach

Stay tuned for next time when we spin the big wheel again!

2006-04-07T17:02:00.000-07:00

(gosh, was i really upside down when i took the picture?!)

Mmmm...The first dinner of Sea Otter post practice, (way) pre-race. Fat Tire ale and E-Caps. It's not just for breakfast anymore!

Motherly Pearls of Wisdom

2006-03-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

Well, my mom forwarded them to me anyway, but the ones I liked best are here.

I've learned:
· That one good turn gets most of the blankets
. That it takes a very long time to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
. That whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
. That artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

2006-03-24T08:35:00.000-08:00

whew! from 32 deg to 72 deg! Can't wait for 5pm!

DuDe, i'M sO GoNna sCorE!

2006-03-23T11:08:00.000-08:00

New shift. Jump on the ice, grab the puck. BREAKAWAY! dodge left, dodge right! Smoke past the advancing goalie to an open net! SCORE!!!!

What did we learn today kids? Other than it's much easier to score on your own goal, PAY ATTENTION to when the teams switch sides!

I think I'm up to double digits in hockey faux-pas. Oh the shame.

Things are Different in the Southern Hemisphere

2006-03-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

Rip...rip...riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! HOLY SHIT! You can have Brazil!!! Those folks down there are Crazy!!!!

It makes the workday fly by when at the end, what you have to look forward to is popping a couple 'a Advil, schlucking a glass of wine and having a lady ripping the hair outta your junk. YIPE! Another slathering of hot wax, some quick nervous conversation followed by the angry RIIIIIIIIP! It went on this way for about 45 minutes. Yak, yak, yak, YOW!

This was the last of the three 'appointments', yet more aptly named "the three bitches". Legs were yesterday, and honestly, not that bad. Being Italian and German, I've got nothing working for me in the body hair department. It's all thick, it's all dark, and it's a genuine bugger to get rid of. I guess it was the allure of not having to scrape a razor across my skin that made me schedule. I've been told that the first time's the worst. "Yeah" I thought, "'cause next time I'm going to start drinking at least half an hour sooner than this time!"

I'll be back, I'll test their theory, but the fabulous thing is that I won't have to be back for about a month! C-ya later Gillette!

i don't get it.

2006-03-22T12:55:00.000-08:00

I love you 'cause I have to
Make everything OK
I love you 'cause I have to
...

2006-03-18T07:58:00.000-08:00

Cooper Loves his new Collar!!! Hopefully with this reflective number "beagle duty" will be somewhat easier!

Naddabella

2006-03-17T12:48:00.000-08:00

I know I should really enforce the one-blog-a-day limit, but what the hell.

I've been avoiding work responsibilities by getting Velo Bella team info out to the MI members, something of which I've been extremely neglectful over the winter. boo-friggin-hoo.

Velo Bella: An eclectic all women's cycling team that brings only the best...out of the woodwork that is. Everyone always seems to have a great time, take for example, this duo:

I will pose the question: Bella or Naddabella? Only you can decide.

find out more about Velo Bella at www.velobella.org

Happy St. PAT's Day!!!!

2006-03-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

Trivia: Why are these two fighting?

2006-03-16T11:32:00.000-08:00

"Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday tooo meeee.
I'm eeeeating your pumpkin bread,
Haaappeeee birrrthday tooo MEEEEEE!!!!"

The Last Day

2006-03-15T05:44:00.000-08:00

It's finally here. The day. D-day, if you will. Today I will frolic, drink and be merry, for tomorrow I turn 30. Mike wouldn't say anything about anything that might or might not be happening tomorrow. I have a sneaking suspicion that he might load me up in the car and drive me out to pasture. He has "joked" more than once about trading me in for 2 fifteen year olds. "Great." I say, "I guess you'll just go to jail twice!"

Actually this hasn't hit me too hard. It's just a number to quantify the number of years living here on this planet after all. I figure it justifies my actions when I'll say to a riding buddy in their 20's, "I've been here loooonnngerrrr, neener neener neener!! Now go get your elder a beer!"

Nah, it's not the end of the world, just the end of a really great decade...and the beginning of an even better one. I resolve to always be the youngest at heart so, bring it on Father Time, you old bastard!

The Difference Between Women and Men

2006-03-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

This winter I joined a "Women's developmental hockey program. This is where seventy adult women step out onto the ice in full regalia for the first time and learn to love the game. We had drills, instruction and are now playing in full force. Mike helped me upgrade my buddy’s thirty year old gear with my own duds, I even have my own cup so I guess that means I'm now a bona-fide hockey player.

Our games have picked up in speed and this Sunday things got a little more physical than we're used to. Elbows, sticks, pucks and words were flying, and not to any surprise, things got personal. Rival team player and our player collide mid-ice. They exchange icy glares as they skate apart, but not before the rival girl gets in the last dig. "Shit for Brains!!!" Our girl stopped on the ice at our bench too stunned to walk through the door. The poor woman is beside herself as she says shocked, "Shit for brains?!! I have two college degrees!!!"

I guess this is really where the genders part ways when it comes to the game. If this situation happened with guys, I'd assume the exchange would be more like: Player 1, "Shit for Brains!" Player 2, "[enter something about 'your mom' here]". Anyway, the whole thing still makes me laugh.

Novemb...er...OCTOBER 7th, 2006: Burch/Rau wedding and Maize n’ Blue vs./ Green n’ White.

2006-03-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

So when I received the news that there’s a game scheduled on the day of our wedding I was a little less than affected with the idea of having to share it with dudes in tight pants pummeling each other over hog-hide. (people make fun of cyclist’s attire. Go figure.) Thankfully most of our guests are fans of other schools and/or could really give a shit about football. Now, if the Tour De France was airing, that’s another story!

Football is not a bad sport. It’s not at all, and I can certainly appreciate a good contest of athleticism, but it’s just not a sport that’s accessible to most of those who watch it. Let’s face it; pretty much any other mainstream sport is still available to those who want to play it. Hockey, basketball, swimming, running, cycling, volleyball are just a few examples. Post-high school/college football however has been relegated to backyard scrimmages and video games. F(L)ag football you say? C’mon! Who wants to prance around a field pulling rags out of other dudes pants? Seriously though, why are there no adult football leagues? My theory is that football appeals to the masses. The masses are brew-swilling couch potatoes who, having traded in the helmet and uniform for a white shirt, dark suit and XL belt are now reliving out their glory days in front of the cathode tube ray’s blue glow. No? Well then, agree to disagree, but I stand by it.

I don’t mean to pick on football. I guess that it’s just one of those sports that people can sit back, watch and never ever have to “put up or shut up”. Either that or I’m just lashing out at the cold non-cycling conducive weather we’ve been having and football just seemed like a good target. If this weather keeps up, baseball is next!

2006-03-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

Every weekday starts with a trip to the bark park for Cooper, and a cup of coffee with a dark chocolate square for me. Today however, was the exception. I woke up too late to take him and had to get to work. Now, hours later we still haven’t gone. I hear an exasperated sigh, and look over my shoulder to meet my pup’s stare. His pleading eyes question why I haven’t allowed him to run, sniff and hump this day. Truly, my heart is breaking. He’s lying on the first step of the foyer ready for any towards-the-door movement on my part. It’s noon-thirty. Surly I can get away for an hour for a justifiable coffee/lunch break. Ok. We’re going, just promise me that you won’t get into the trash again!!

Breathless

2006-02-27T13:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve been reliving the moment he popped the question. The Crisp mountaintop air, the whir of the chairlift and the chatter of a foreign tongue surround us. The pictures tell a story, they capture the surprise, but they also show the exact moment of where he stood before me, one ski off and unzipping his jacket and starting his speech, at which exact moment the only logical thought my mind could concoct was, “Oh my God, he’s going to take his coat off and roll around in the Austrian snow! He’ll freeze!!!”
Next frame: He’s on one knee holding open a little box it’s contents sparkling. I’ve caught on to what’s happening. The next: We embrace. That photo. I’m taken to that exact moment. How it felt to be held in the arms of someone who just told me he wants to spend his life with me. Incredible. Overwhelming. It still is. I suppose that, in reality, given time this will fade, but for now I will relish every moment that the sight of him, the thought of his presence and the sound of his laughter makes me smile. Something that I was hesitant to ever believe in, and would never allow myself the luxury of thinking would happen, has indeed happened. It feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and it is incredible.
Our engagement moment: “It’s not how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.”

… Did I finally get that right, honey?

I promise, I'll try.

2006-02-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

It has been brought to my attention more than once during my life that I have no fashion sense. My mom is a fashionable lady, my sister could have fed a small country keeping up to date of the current trends, even my dad knows how to dress. Not me. Apparently the “don’t mix plaids with stripes” gene missed me. I must have been playing in the dirt somewhere that day.
When dressing, I play it safe. Everything goes with jeans, right? Sure it does! That and black pants. I’ve got it covered…all but the socks apparently.

I enjoy a nice pair of poly-blend socks, preferably with a cute picture around the ankle and a funny saying stitched into the foot. No one generally sees them. They’re dark so they must go with the outfit. Wrong again. Apparently cycling socks don’t go everywhere. I’ve heard gals with the same theory relate near disastrous results when, dressed cute for a date complete with short skirt and tall boots, removal of the ever-so-sexy footwear produced black and pink anklets with flames at the top. Not hot, not sexy – it kinda sends the message, “hey, if this doesn’t work out I hope there’s still enough light to get a ride in.”

I must first explain something about cycling socks. They’re an independent type of clothing, and they like to roam. Most of the time only one of the pair will make it into the washer and out of the dryer while the other is out gallivanting in the garage, the car, somewhere in the closet. If this happens, the lone sock goes into the “rouge sock drawer” until its mate surfaces. It happened tonight, it was bound to sometime. I claim sabotage, but that’s just because I don’t remember folding this particular pair. Mike and I sitting enjoying a perfectly nice dinner and conversation, I notice him looking at my feet. Conversation ceases, I follow his stare to my feet. Oh lookie there. I’ve got two different socks on. One brown with a cute doggie picture, the other reddish with a flaming heart. No, I didn’t’ notice. I just assumed they were a pair. Poor Mike, “You have Garanimal socks and you still can’t get it right!!” I lost it. I laughed so hard my eyes teared up. While Miuccia Prada I’m not, I guess exerting a bit more effort into a matching ensable wouldn’t kill me.

A hot shower and an ice-cold beer

2006-02-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

To a mountain biker, sixty degrees and sunny in Michigan on January 28th is like taking a newly rehabilitated alcoholic to an open bar.
Oh, there were plans, all right. Our group was to meet at 9, pick up another friend downtown and drive to Cleveland for a day at an indoor mountain bike park. All was on track until 45 minutes later when we got to her porch and on a whim decided to scrap the trip because the sun was out. There will never be a more fickle bunch than a group of cyclists on a sunny day.
Racing back from whence we came, half of the group decided to ride back roads, which at this time of year are muddy at best. There was no question the roads were muddy. With the sun melting the remaining spots of ice, wet, sloppy, slow and deep can be added to the condition description.
Plodding along we splashed through miles and miles of water filled potholes and mud bogs until we and our bikes were nothing but unrecognizable mud figures. Our jerseys were covered, it was in our hair, teeth, and eyes and somehow it even managed to get lodged in our bike shorts.
Finally we headed back, but not before walking in to place a take-out order at a local Thai restaurant. The look we got was something like this: (as described by Dustin)

Hostess: “Ohhh…what you want?? You so muddy!”
Biker: “I…I just want to place a take-out order…”
Hostess: “Oh nooo…you pretty girl, but you leave! You diiirty!!!”

Take out order was placed and we rode back to the house to clean up. Of course immediately upon return beer was opened, pictures were taken and conversation took the place of getting clean, and by then the food was ready to be picked up. Off I went, glass bottle in hand riding my filthy bike and drinking my delicious beer through the neighborhoods and into downtown. This is exactly what I needed – what I missed from my days in CA. Suffering through an otherwise miserable ride with good friends with the promise of good food and a good brew afterwards.
It’s hard to explain why I felt so free at that moment. Maybe because I felt like I was 8 years old again, maybe because I felt like I was untouchable by the “real world” or maybe because at that moment, I was devoid of all responsibility. Whatever it was, it’s the feeling that I long to attain each time I get on my bike.

Thai food, a quick bike cleaning at the local car wash clean(er) clothes and I was on my way back home, somewhat exhausted, but feeling that high normally reserved for epic summer rides. I was looking forward to a shower.

I cranked the hot water then went to the refrigerator to grab a badly wanted beer. Grocery duty was neglected over the weekend. Shame on me, we were out Blue Moon. Grimacing, I selected a Porter from a “Beers of America” gift box. The quality was suspect, but after a sip from a chilled glass, the prospect of it actually being somewhat good was promising.
Stepping through the rolling steam into the shower I relished taste of my magic elixir. How good it tasted at the end of the day! There is nothing like standing under a spray of hot water with a cold beer in hand, remembering the day, feeling the ache in your muscles and watching your skin appear from under the layer of dirt and grime. Sometimes life is so simple!

A very Special Purpose

2006-01-24T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last night at church the alternate, older, very conservative brimstone and fire-esque pastor led the service.

When we stopped to greet and shake hands at the end of the service the pastor gave Mike a very hearty, manly handshake, looked him straight in the eye and boomed "YOU have a SPECIAL PURPOSE!!!"

Mike: looking shocked "I do?"

Me: just as shocked, trying desperatly to hold back the urge to say something completely inappropriate.

We promptly exited and upon reaching the outside, busted up laughing.

I'm assuming 2 things: 1, the pastor has never seen "The Jerk" and 2. we're both going straight to hell.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-22T09:45:00.000-08:00

FUH2

2005-11-21T12:56:00.000-08:00

I think this sums it up. Blunt, but effective.

http://www.fuh2.com/

while you're at it, you might as well check out http://www.engrish.com

Have a Rice Day!!

"Sporgy"

2005-11-14T10:51:00.000-08:00

Talk about allot going on! This weekend was a smorgasbord of athleticism in the fair state of Michigan. College football, Pro football, Pro hockey, Mike's men's league, My hockey session and of course the 1st annual P.O.S bike ride! Needless to say that spot in the hallway carpet I've been meaning to clean up will have to wait another week.
Saturday literally blew in with winds that would have sent Mary Poppins over the Atlantic. The event this day: The 1st Annual P.O.S. 100. (not really a UCI sanctioned type of event...it was actually just a group of grown adults on kids bikes loaded up on Milwaukee's Beast) As the afternoon rolled around I gathered up my bike, clothes and dog and headed to downtown Rochester for some pre-event downhill runs. The runs were fun, however I didn't go away unscathed. I showed up to the start of the event with blood running down my knee from a not-so-graceful crash off of an earlier jump. Every successful ride causes bloodshed.
Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll save some typing.

Here are 10400:

and

Here are a few more:

An award was given for the best crash of the day. The recipient: The 7 year old kid who opened the door and fell out of the minivan while his dad was roasting the tires.

Gym Rats

2005-11-09T11:06:00.000-08:00

So I'm trying to be better and actually get into the gym now that summer's over. I've been moderately good the past few weeks. Yoga, abs class, step...today was spinning. I attended a noon spin class at the hoity-toity gym for my lunch break and to force myself to get away from work. (not much forcing there)
I enter spin studio stage right and am accosted with blaring dance club music. Now, I like the stuff just as much as the next person however this was a bit over the top for noon on a weekday. So the instructor is pedaling away (his seat was way to low, shoulders were pumping way too much and he was way too big to be talking with the effeminate lisp he had...I can only assume he juiced for the aesthetic benefit of someone named Guy or Stephan)
We spin along to his instruction and I'm catching odd random movements to my left. The guy on the bike next to me (clad in baggy zebra striped pants, doo-rag, and leather yard work gloves) is shadow-boxing!
Now we've got "sauce-gut" in the front, "Mike-Tyson-on-a-bike" to the left and now the lady who came in late and faced her bike perpendicular to mine is BLOWING ON ME!!! I've found there's nothing really worse than going anaerobic while breathing in someone else's exhaled lunch fumes.
Mercifully the class ended. It really wasn't a bad class. It made me work which is what I came to do, but I think next time I'll get there a bit earlier and secure a better spot.