Fontana ‘07 (otherwise known as Fontucky, Beeatch)

Fontana ‘07

There's so much to say, but I want to start this out on a positive note and say something nice about Fontana, the town in which the first NORBA national downhill is being held. I'm thinking...I'm thinking...I'm failing...

Fontana's low. I'm sorry. I thought Flint was low, but at least in Flint there's enough violence to keep out innocent bikers from coming into town for a race. Fontana, however is a good place to go if you're driving a semi truck, or a low rider, or are a meth-head, or are all three.

Thankfully our Velo Bella / Kona team is staying about 20 minutes away in Redlands which is a perfectly nice little community provided you don't get anywhere near I-10 unless it's between the hours of 2 and 4am. It's true. Five lanes and they're jammed. Even out here two hours from LA. Shoot me now.

This trip has been eventful and it's only half way through. I'll share some of the highlights thus far:

I was in such disbelief that it took me a while to understand what service they were really offering. Sometimes punctuation is key.

4 - Hours it takes the little Yorki to stop screaming (yes, screaming) once the bathroom door is closed.
3 - separate rush hour trappings on I-10 because I'm an idiot and forgot my shoes for downhill practice.

2 - the number of full downhill bikes a Honda Civic will reluctantly accommodate

1 - Number of times I saw a ghetto sled's hood fly up while it was swerving down the road.