MAILBAG!!!

Oooh, and today we’ve got a doozie!

Looks like someone doesn’t like what they purchased on Craigslist. Boo hoo hoo! Let’s read on, shall we?

Hey Allie,

Had a better chance to look at the Yukon (out of the rain and the cold) and found that the fork is bent and peddle cassette is missing teeth. The bike was ridden a lot harder then represented! (+ other problems) I know a deal is a deal but, I thought I would let you both know that I would have passed if conditions on the viewing had been better....
If given the chance for refund and return, I would accept....If not, Karma works well!

Cxxxx (555) 555-1212

Gentle reader; please allow me to dissect this with a bit of explanation. First, I would never purposely mis-represent such an item. If I were going to do that I never would have agreed to compromise $100 on the price! (My desired responses are in parentheses)

Hey Allie, (Yep, that's me)

Had a better chance to look at the Yukon (out of the rain and the cold)

(It was raining and damned cold. You took it for a spin in the rain never once stopping under a store awning in the strip mall we met at to look the item over.)

and found that the fork is bent and peddle cassette is missing teeth.

(Not bloody likely. This bike was a rail-trail special that saw dirt once or twice but whimpered so badly that it was relegated back to the road. If a tooth was in fact missing on the chain ring, I'm positive the plastic chain-ring-guide would have suffered some type of damage, say...smashed into a thousand pieces. If a hunk is torn off of a metal ring, I'm sure the plastic parts wouldn't hold up either.)

The bike was ridden a lot harder then represented! (+ other problems)

( HORSEFEATHERS!!! Unless, on it's trip across the country in the moving van Sven and his circus bear snuck in one night and practiced their new act on this bike)

I know a deal is a deal but, I thought I would let you both know that I would have passed if conditions on the viewing had been better....

(Sorry bro, it had been raining ALL DAY. You drove 30 MILES IN THE RAIN to check out a $250 bike! AN ENTIRE BIKE FOR $250!

At that price it's NOT gonna say ORBEA down the side! You had my number and could have used it to say something like "hey, it's raining and I’m a dainty little flower and might melt. Let's reschedule." See, it's a weird thing, but when you get a deal off of craigslist the seller doesn't have control over the weather. That's what STORES are for. They have these cool things called ROOVES that keep the rain outside when you're inside deliberating over a product.)

If given the chance for refund and return, I would accept....If not, Karma works well!

(Well, well, well...what have we here? A threat for the Karma Payment Plan??? I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER!!!

Dear Unhappy Buyer,

I am truly sorry that you feel your purchasing experience was negative. At this time I am unable to issue a refund and take the bike back, however you'll be happy to know that as I was conjuring up this rotten little bargain and waiting to spring the full wrath of my unscrupulous dealings upon you, my car died late Thanksgiving night, after dining and drinks, 2 hours away from home with an irritated husband and a puking dog. We never made it home, and while we were foraging for newspapers to keep ourselves warm, John Denver, flying his experimental aircraft with passengers Elvis and Marylyn Monroe crashed into us leaving the dog only 1 leg and me paralyzed with the exception of my right pinky toe and ability to wiggle my ears. It was amazing yet tragic and I'm sure you can appreciate the difficulty of typing up this reply. I do hope that this makes you feel better about your purchase.)

Sincerely,

Ethyyl

Happy Thanksgiving!

We didn't really have any plans for thanksgiving this year, so when our friends from San Jose invited us to dinner we accepted with pleasure. We had a plan. Leave Wednesday night, stay with Jen, ride Thursday morning in Demo and make it in time for dinner at True and Kathy's.

Wednesday night we packed the car with all of the Thanksgiving necessities, clothes, dog, bikes, etc. and rolled out to Jen's on the Santa Cruz side. Jen was making one of her famous curry dishes, which are never to be missed.
We retired to the living room where Mike quickly found the place he'd be camped in for the next hour. An iJoy 550 Robotic Massage Chair waited for him with open arms and he gladly accepted the offer.

Thursday morning we tootled around the house getting ready a little too long, screamed out of the house and up, up, up the twisted mountain road to the trailhead just in time to see Jim and Joe heading out. (we were 20 minutes late) Thankfully we caught them and finally got to ride in the Demo Forest where the dirt was nice and tacky from the rain, but the leaf covered decent proved to be somewhat treacherous.

After cleaning up we finally made it to True and Kathy's in San Jose where they had cooked up a fabulous spread. True smoked the turkey earlier in the day, and Kathy, between works of wizardry and artistry had whipped up all of the fixin's sans recipe! (I'm still full this morning!)

The night grew late and we started making motions towards the door when Webber (our beagle) sauntered up to the group, sat under the table and spewed forth his entire dinner onto the rug. Thus begins our adventure.

As we make our way to the car, the dog leaves behind the contents of his stomach in twenty-foot increments along the sidewalk. When it appears he has nothing left to throw up we get into the Aztek and start our nearly two-hour drive north back home.

Things were fine for the first ten minutes, but then the Aztek had decided she had had enough. On went the warning light and through the roof went the temperature gage. I pulled the car over the shoulder, searched the car for extra water and dumped what was left of a water bottle into the coolant reservoir. Now, this isn't really new. The car has been in the shop for the same thing and was repaired...somewhat. Ok, I opted for the band-aid fix when I should have had the triple bypass, but sometimes band-aids work and the problem just kinda fixes itself, right? Not this time, on Thanksgiving, at 10:30 pm, with a sick dog and irritated husband. damn.

So here we are, stuck on the side of the road, hazard lights on, hood up, dog puking in the back of the car, and the two of us haggardly looking at each other undoubtedly having completely different thoughts about our situation. Mike said he liked adventure. I guess this isn't quite what he had in mind.

AAA sent a tow truck; True and Greg met us at the dealer and let us take his car home. While we were transferring everything from the 'Tek to True's car, True noted that when he went into the backyard to clean up the items from smoking the turkey, he noticed that some of the woodchips had been chewed. Of course, wood is Webber's favorite thing to chew on. Now, the cherry woodchips that were used had been soaked and saturated with rather strong bourbon. Turns out, our dog was drunk!

We finally were on our way home, which we thankfully reached without further incident. This was our first Thanksgiving and major holiday as a married couple. I can't help but wonder what we're being prepared for.

A Great Big "EF U" to you, Hugh.
(and your little subscribers too)

PANTS!!!! ???

To whoever asked, “Whatever happened to the 80’s?” I have good news. They are alive and well and in our apartment.

Yesterday all of our belongings were shipped to our new place and we began the daunting task of tearing into boxes and finding homes for the contents.
Tonight we reached the wardrobes. Tucked within the depths of “his mine and ours” was pay dirt for anyone nostalgic of long ratted hair and screaming guitar solos.

More on how we’re doing later, but for now I shall bid you adieu with this little gem: